I just came back from a week and a half of vacation. I spent
the first week with my family up in Maine and the last few days, I got to be
with one of my oldest and closest friends in Boston. Time away allows God to
refocus my mind. To take the truths that I have been learning from Him and solidify
them in my mind. He also shows me the beauty and security of our relationship.
In my normal life (which is pretty abnormal), I sometimes take for granted His
presence. We have developed a rhythm together. We spend long mornings together
and He is faithful to teach me.
In new environments however, I wonder, how will He show
Himself? Will I have the time necessary
to be with Him? To sit with Him? This vacation, I had plenty of time in the mornings
to engage with Him and it was wonderful. But it wasn’t always quiet. My whole
immediate family of 11 people was staying in the same house together. So there
was constantly movement and laughter and conversations. I have two nephews that
are 7 and 4 and in the early mornings they are active. I was definitely free to
spend time with the Lord but it was never still and I was never alone. Anyone
reading this who has children will certainly scoff at the idea of a quiet
morning.
And that’s been one of the questions I've had in this process of
slowing down in my life. I know that God has given me this time to be with Him
and to learn from Him. But I also long for movement. I do wonder what my
relationship will be like with Him when I don’t have the same environment.
Without uninterrupted hours in the morning, will I still encounter the same
relationship and the same God that I see now? It has also been my heart to share
this journey with others. I want my friends and family to experience the same
depth of God’s presence and His goodness. But is it feasible to think that
someone working 60-70 hours a week with 2 kids could have the time or space to
be quiet before God?
What I experienced in the chaos, loudness, and chatter of my
family together was that God was still present. He was unhindered by noise and
was still speaking. As my nephews ran back and forth between rooms, my
parents stopped me to ask questions about the day, and my brothers and sisters
descended down the stairs to get breakfast, God still wanted to meet with me
there. In the midst of a busy household, He was still speaking and still able
to get through to me-someone who loves silence and serenity.
The below song has been my prayer throughout my time of waiting. The words have echoed so much of what I’ve experienced and long to
experience. I am restored in the secret, quiet, stillness of God’s presence.
And when God calls me to move in my life, I won’t delay. But the second verse
took on new meaning as I watched the activity around me this vacation. It says,
“In the chaos. In confusion, I know you’re sovereign still.” I’ve always
envisioned this chaos and confusion happening in moments of tragedy and
uncertainty in life. But sometimes, normal life is filled with chaos. Sometimes, our family is buzzing around, our
work is hectic and that’s normal life. God calls to us in the stillness and in
the chaos of our lives and He speaks for us to hear Him. I long for ears to hear
both in the quiet and in the cacophony of life. And I pray the same for you today.
