"Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you." James 4:8a
I read this verse in a little devotional this morning and had the thought that this should be my theme verse. You know, that verse that encapsulates everything you feel about God, that you continue coming back to to provide comfort and solace when times get hard. I went to James to read the context of the passage expecting to find more of the same - a passage on how intimacy with God provides comfort. Instead what I found was a more accurate picture of what I have been living this past year. James 4 talks about the whole army of evil desires within us. It admonishes the reader to take stock of their own motives and allow God to root out the selfishness and pride in our hearts.
As we draw near to God, our sinfulness is exposed. I wish it weren't true in my case but for the past months (and over the past years) as I've drawn closer and closer to God, I have seen more and more of my own selfishness, my own pride, and my own sin. It is ugly and the closer I draw to God, the uglier I see it in myself. And still the process is painful. Even though I want Christ to perform sin surgery and remove it all from my life, I'm surprised by how deeply the roots of sin are in my heart. So that when God does remove sin from my life, it hurts.
So, Merry Christmas, right? A message of pain and sin removal for this happy day. Except that it is happy. Even though it is painful and even though it grieves me to see God removing things I didn't even know existed in my life, I am close to Him. I am by His side and that is where I want to be. So when, Christ drew near to all of us 2,000 years ago, He did it so that I could draw close to God - which turns out to be the deepest and purest longing of my heart. He came for me. And He came for you. Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. The process is not painless but the pain is worth it.
